“I noticed you haven’t been writing,” my mom said. “What’s going on?”

“With my new job and a long commute I feel brain dead at the end of the day,” I told her. “It’s like I have nothing to write about. Or maybe it’s that I have nothing to write about that’s OK to write about. If that makes any sense.”

Mom and I talked about the fact that I have a big girl job now. I am no longer my own boss. I don’t have the ability to say “no” to things I don’t want to work on. Gone are the days of picking and choosing projects. Gone are the afternoons I could whittle away surfing the Internet, reading other blogs, commenting, engaging in Twitter conversations and the like.

Instead my days are filled with meetings, getting to know people and culling through dozens and dozens of emails. College campuses, I have discovered, are hotbeds of email. Doesn’t anyone want to talk over the phone anymore? When you are new to the department there is so much to learn. Why do we do this? What’s the thinking behind that? Can anyone tell me where this is or who to call about that?

A good friend described it as “Dumb new girl syndrome.” And in fact, that’s how I feel some days.

On the homefront, things are equally out of whack. Our fabulous, wonderful, amazing babysitter is student teaching this semester and while we’re trying to work with her schedule, it’s not coming together. She can’t get here until after 4pm most days and the kids get home from school before that. Mike is on conference calls most afternoons and is therefore unable to monitor the consumption of snacks, whether or not homework is getting done or the dog has been let out. When I walk in at 6 or 6:15pm, the last thing I want to do is help with homework. Sad but true, that’s just the way it is.

So I’ve interviewed two new babysitters–a male and a female who happen to be be boyfriend and girlfriend, former camp counselors, and seniors in college–and they’ve proposed a job share. How progressive! One will be here two days a week after school, the other three days. The young man plays baseball and I know my boys will love that come spring. While it’s not the traditional or typical arrangement, I think it will work out for us.

Finally, there’s the emotional adjustment that’s taking place. As working moms everywhere know, this is hard stuff. On the one hand it feels great to be back in an office, working with a team, and feeling part of something that’s bigger and more important than myself. On the other hand there’s the loss of freedom, the flexibility of self-employment, the ability to feel total control over my life and my schedule.

And that’s when it becomes crystal clear that motherhood is a series of phases. Nothing is forever and opportunities are what you make of them. At the end of the day, this is just another chapter in my life’s book.

I told you it was cold in Florida! Remember on our podcast when you were confusing Disneyland with Disney World? I’ll never forget the year we went to Disney World in February for the Social Media Moms Celebration and it was 40 degrees and raining the entire time.

I still have the $70 fleece I purchased in some gift shop (we didn’t rent a car that year). What’s worse, I did not bring appropriate shoes. My feet, I remember, were freezing. There’s only one shoe to wear to Disney: sneakers. And the best time to go, in my humble opinion, is early April.

It’s true, I was snowed in for a day last week, but when I boarded my flight to NYC yesterday morning, it was pouring rain and 40. (Hmm, sounds strangely similar to that February trip to Orlando!). I’m here for a few days for work and must say, I just love this city.

Not much else going on here, except that Saturday was the one year anniversary of my ski accident. When I went to the mountain to pick up Tommy from ski brigades, I thought I might feel a pang of loss. I expected to feel a bit sad that I wasn’t skiing myself. Instead, I felt nothing. Not a single bit of regret. When I told that to Mike he looked completely deflated.

“Next year you’ll be back out there with us!” he said.

Like a kid at Disney, I just let him believe.

Enjoy the rest of your trip and safe travels home.

Hugs,
Erin

Hating. Her.

Seriously, we’ve received so little snow until now that I really can’t complain. And while I planned to do the commute today (and carpool with a colleague) neither of us could get very far as the snow was falling fast and furious during the morning commute, turning the NT Thruway into a parking lot. When the Thruway is bad there’s only one reasonable thing to do. Turn around and go home.

So, on to the subject of this post.

When you listen to this week’s show you’ll hear what happens when Kristin and I are in our most tired of states. I was so tired I couldn’t even lift a glass of wine and she had a long to-do list given it was the night before Sophie’s very first trip to Disney World.

The episode could be called random thoughts. We were all over the place.

At one point, I started explaining more about Odyssey of the Mind–having attended two team practices since last week’s episode–and I had a hilarious story I totally forgot to tell. One of the things they do in OTM is spontaneous problems. It might be as simple as going around the group and each kid provides a unique answer to a question. In one of our practices last week, the team was asked to give examples of things that carry other things. For example, a highway carries cars. Or a backpack carries books.

I could barely hold it together when one of the boys answered, “A fart carries stink!”

Kids will always tell it like it is.

Dear readers, you have to know that this is quite an adjustment for me. Not only am I no longer my own boss, but this is the first time since giving birth to Tommy over 9 years ago, that I have a 5-day a week, Monday through Friday job.

After Tommy was born, I returned to work at 80% of my salary in exchange for Fridays off. After Brendan was born I worked from home one day, had Fridays off and I think I left early on Wednesdays. It was a pretty sweet arrangement.

And yet I still quit my job to start my own business and teach at a local college.

I don’t regret that decision for one second. Owning my own business all these years has been incredible for me and my family. Let’s face it, I was able to spend more time with my kids than I would have otherwise. I was able to volunteer at school, make almost all of their important events, silly shows and more. I was also able to invest a lot of time in the care and nurturing of Manic Mommies.

Sparked partially by our move and partially by the realization that I’m not getting any younger, I decided this summer to consider working for someone else again. Running two businesses was getting tiresome and I felt like I was not learning anything new. I discussed all of this with my life coach and while it wasn’t the goal I had set for myself when we started working together, the job I ended up accepting just seemed to be the right opportunity at the right time.

Yes, it means driving quite a distance (66 miles one way on the NY Thruway), but it’s doable when compared to the thought of moving again. I would never even have considered this commute if my husband wasn’t working from home.

(By the way, that’s another reason I started thinking seriously about a new job. Do both parents need to be living and working in the same house all day, every day? How would you do with that long term?)

My new job is in higher ed and it’s an opportunity for me to learn a new industry. What’s more, I really think my skills and experience will be of value. My kids are adjusting just fine and they were absolutely thrilled to attend their first college basketball game this weekend.

So while I will have less time for things like blogging, Twitter and FB (can’t do any of those things while driving) Kristin and I are committed to keeping up the weekly podcast. If nothing else, you can be sure there will be many more manic moments in the weeks and months to come.

This, dear readers, is a big bummer.

As you all know, I have absolutely no plans to ski this year. The mere thought of another winter on crutches is enough to keep me in the lodge. I was dreaming, however, of all the things I might get accomplished over Christmas break while all three boys were out of the house next week: finish some writing projects, dust the closet (how do closets get so dusty?), see a movie, shopping the after Christmas sales.

For this reason only, I wish it would snow.

It’s also not feeling much like Christmas what with the 50 degree temperatures and all the rain. When I trekked to Toys R Us at 6am this morning, I donned a spring coat and golashes.

A. SPRING. COAT.

Toys R Us at 6am is a breeze, by the way. I highly recommend it. I was in and out in less than 30 minutes! Woot.

I still have so much to do: wrapping all the presents, cooking the Christmas Eve meal, packing for a our brief trip back to Massachusetts, making arrangements with the dog sitter, etc. etc. etc.

For that reason, I’m taking a blogging break for a little while but not before I wish you and yours all the happiest of holidays. I hope Santa is good to you and you find a way to create some treasured memories.

In the meantime, LET IT SNOW!

One of my favorite bloggers is hosting her annual Christmas House Tour this week.

I LITERALLY get sucked in to this every year. It’s amazing how much time I can spend in front of the computer looking at other people’s homes. All the lovely wreaths and Christmas trees! Then I start to wonder how much time people put into their decorating. This year my friend Gina decked out my dining room, but I spent most of this past Sunday (when I wasn’t hosting the Cookie Swap) decorating my tree. Lugging boxes out of the attic is my least favorite part of this process. I always bump my head at least twice! It hurts.

Then the boxes sit around in the hall all week, much like a suitcase after a business trip. Clearly I have some issues when it comes to packing and unpacking. Don’t even get me started on how many baskets of clean laundry are piling up in my room. Again with the unpacking.

Anyway, check out the tour over at The Inspired Room and remind yourself that you’re too busy to decorate like that anyway. After all, you probably have loads of laundry to do.

Home page image for this post is from Hydrangea Home.

I started hosting a cookie swap when Tommy was a toddler and I was home on Fridays. I would hold the swap on a Friday afternoon and invited neighborhood moms and kids. While the moms drank wine and chatted, the kids would decorate gingerbread or sugar cookies with all sorts of frosting and colored candies. It was a big mess but still lots of fun. As the kids got older, and began to multiply in number, I started hosting the cookie swap on a Friday night after kids were in bed. This usually resulted in a rather late night fueled by lots of wine and chocolate.

When I moved, Kristin decided to carry on the cookie swap tradition in our neighborhood. I was glad to see it continue. I wanted to keep the tradition alive in my new town, but last year knew only a few women and I just didn’t have it in me. If I’m honest with myself I guess I was afraid I’d invite people and no one would come.

This year I decided to bring back the cookie swap and I’m so glad I did! I invited quite a few women that I’ve met over the past year and had a great turnout. Even Jenny, a podcast listener who I’ve wanted to get to know better came (she didn’t know a soul) with the cutest Santa cookies I’ve ever seen! My friend Gina infused my dining room with holiday decor and my husband lugged tables, stoked the fire and set up the sound system (Rockin’ Holidays on Pandora is great for a party).

As I sit here trying to avoid eating yet another peanut butter cookie with a Hershey’s kiss in the middle, I’m thinking about traditions and how important they are around the holidays. Whether it’s a tradition passed on to through the generations or one you’ve created for yourself, there’s something special about that familiar feeling.

Maybe you always go to midnight Mass on Christmas Eve or go caroling in your neighborhood (does anyone do that anymore?). Maybe you open new PJs and eat popcorn and drink hot chocolate while watching It’s a Wonderful Life. Or maybe your family does a re-gift Yankee Swap every year and you laugh over who gets the fuzzy pink slippers.

Whatever you cherish most about the holidays, I hope you find a way to make it happen this year.

As a little girl, one of my favorite things about Christmas was opening the doors on the Advent calendar as a countdown to the big day. Last week, Tommy came home from religion class with a tiny paper box. In it were 24 “nice things to do” for each day of Advent. They say things like “don’t argue” and “give compliments freely.” The kids have enjoyed drawing one each day, although they keep tossing back the one that says “don’t watch TV.”

Last week, we went to visit Mike’s aunt and uncle after Tommy drew one that said “Go visit a shut in.” This sparked a whole conversation about what constitutes a shut in. Frankly, I think my husband qualifies, given how hard he’s been working this holiday season (yup online fraud prevention+ Christmas = crazy busy). We had a nice visit and I think the relatives enjoyed it.

Anyway, I got the idea of making my own advent calendar after reading about a woman on Etsy who makes labels that fit over the top of mini muffin tins. On December 1, while the kids were in school, I got to work on this little craft. I ordered the labels from the seller ($5.99) and she sent them to me as two single-sheet PDF files. I printed them on the same full-sheet white labels I use for shipping. I cut them out, filled each muffin tin with little trinkets: jingle bells, chocolate coins, mini MMs. Basically anything I could find at Michael’s.

The boys really enjoy peeling off the sticker to reveal the day’s “prize.”

Associated Press copyright prohibits me from republishing here in full, but you can get the recipe through this link.

How are you feeling? Have you taken my advice and stayed hidden upstairs in your room for the weekend? Being a mom recovering from surgery is not at all easy, is it? The pain meds help with the physical symptoms, but there doesn’t seem to be enough of any drug that can numb your mommy feelings and instincts. As much as you try to ignore the chaos swirling around you, you can’t! And when the kids want mom, they just WANT MOM. No one else will do. Please remember what I told you about work emails and such. You might think you’ll just log on for an hour or two, but I am telling you DON’T DO IT! It’s stressful and your body needs to just heal now. Do nothing that messes with that process.

I missed our chat for the show this week. A lot is going on here, but mostly I am just looking forward to our trip to Massachusetts for Thanksgiving. You know it’s my favorite holiday, even if my picky eaters have taken some of the joy out of the dinner part for me. Remember last year when I just let them play outside and didn’t even bother calling them to the table when the food was hot? Sure, I got a delicious and hot meal, but I still feel some pangs of mommy guilt over it. This year I think I’ll return to forcing them to put some food on their plate and at least make them pretend to eat it. I know they won’t starve as there’s always plenty of rolls with butter.

We’re taking Casey on her first road trip this week and we may be doing it in a new car! We are finally getting rid of the Honda Pilot with 130,000 miles and we’re getting a Chevrolet Traverse. After test driving it so many times and with our great relationship with Chevrolet, it made sense. We’re opting for a 2011 though (getting a good deal with the end of the year) and so I can’t even tell you what color it is. We’re taking whatever we can get in the area. The kids are hoping we take delivery tomorrow so we can drive in it on Wednesday. They’re excited about the captain’s chairs in the back.

So what are you doing for Thanksgiving dinner? Will you be able to eat real food by then? I’m assuming yes.

Hey, if you haven’t been watching Parenthood this season, you should download all the episodes and watch this week while you’re recovering. I finally caught up on the whole season over the weekend and just like last year, I love the writing on this show. Kristina has a baby and she does such a great job of portraying the sleep-deprived, unsexy-feeling, can’t-do-it-all mom. Even the house is a believable mess.

Well, gotta run and get to work. My own kitchen is a disaster (I let Tommy make bacon and eggs this morning before school) and I have tons of laundry to do today in between work projects and calls. I can’t wait to see you in Massachusetts on Friday! Oh and don’t worry, the dog will be staying with my sister.

Be well.

Love,
Erin