According to a recent University of Chicago survey, a growing percentage of Americans consider themselves “spiritual but not religious.” By all accounts, this includes parents.
This week we’re joined by author Dale McGowan, editor of Parenting Beyond Belief: On Raising Ethical, Caring Kids Without Religion to talk more about this trend. Then we chat openly about our own roles as the “spiritual directors” of our families.
Links Mentioned: Parenting Beyond Belief | Tuck Everlasting | The Faith Club | The Pew Forum on Religion & Public Life | Spirituality & Practice | The Spiritual Life of Children | Letters to God (the movie, coming soon)
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31 Responses to Podcast: Parenting Beyond Belief
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I’m listening to your podcast right now and had to comment on the coupon issue. I’ve also had people tell me that I should be using coupons and I’d spend so much less on groceries each week. I do use coupons when I find some for products I’m going to buy. But I never end up saving more than a few dollars per trip with coupons. I do check what’s on sale and plan my menu around those things or what I already have on hand in the freezer or pantry.
The problem I have with coupons is that I find very few for products I’d be willing to buy. There are almost never coupons for meat or eggs (at least not for any I’d want to buy) and there are never coupons for produce. Most coupons are for packaged or processed foods that I try to avoid. I also try to use more environmentally friendly cleaners (or make my own), which I don’t find coupons for.
It would be great if I could use coupons to get my grocery bill down to $20, but I’m now willing to get nutritionally inferior or overly processed foods to do that.
I really enjoyed the Parenting Beyond Belief show. I listened on my commute this morning and I think it was among the best. The topic was really enlightening and the author had some great responses for dealing with issues like death and religion that in my opinion fit any conversation whether or not religioun plays a role in your family. I think I’ll pick up his book. Thank you for exploring the topic. I think it’s an important one.
Thank you so much for this podcast and making me aware of this book. I have been struggling with this issue a lot with my 4 year old, especially because we have had some deaths in the family that have led her to ask about what happens when we die.
As far as the coupons, count me as a coupon skeptic. I tried the Grocery Game for a while and I didn’t feel like I saved enough money to make the time worth it. I also wonder, what are these coupon people buying? I admit that I could probably save $ with coupons on cleaning supplies, toiletries, and paper goods, but otherwise most coupons seems to be for processed foods. I am trying to cut down on how many processed foods we eat and I spend a lot of money on fresh produce and meat, milk and eggs – things that the previous poster pointed out almost never have coupons.
I LOVED this interview. This topic is on my mind a LOT lately and found this podcast to be very informative. I really want to read these books now too
Keep up with the great content!
Thanks for making laundry not so boring!
Interesting topic, thanks for deciding to share your thoughts Krisin. The role of religion a dilemma for a lot of us, with so many strong opinions its a topic we don’t tend to talk about much. And I have to say that I laughed out loud to the different reactions to the “blood curdling screams” as the show went on for 5 more minutes. Thanks!
Thank you Erin and Kristin for such a thoughtful show! The topic is something I often think about as a “Catholic” by family tradition but not practicing now. I so appreciate Dale’s discussion of death. It validated some things I have said to my kids already, and the way he thoroughly weaved his ideas together in such a meaningful and lovely way simply wowed me! Love his perspective. I will definitely buy his book to share with my husband. And, thank you Kristin for being open and sharing your thoughts on the topic with everyone. I appreciate your honesty and had many of the same questions you asked Dale. Cheers to you ladies!!
Thank you for having the courage to discuss religion openly and honestly. I want to give you a big cyberhug Kristin – takes guts to put yourself out there. As a loyal listener, I gotta say your podcast is so popular because you have the guts to be your real selves! Kudos!
I, too, really, really enjoyed this show. My 5 year plan (started 2 years ago now) was to find faith. I was brought up Protestant but want something more. I think the open-mindedness of Dale and his “hard work” in visiting many different churches and faiths is inspirational. I look forward to reading his books and delving more into my own search and also teaching my son the valuable lessons of faith. Love this topic and think you guys are doing an awesome job. Keep talking about your own search too!
I commented on Facebook, but I also thought a comment was needed here.. I too LOVED the podcast. I grew up in a religiously confusing household: mom-roman catholic and my dad-non-practicing Jew turned Atheist.
My husband and I would consider ourselves Humanists, after educating ourselves on many religions, and since having our son 1 year ago have begun talking about this very topic. I bought one of the books a few weeks ago and was very excited to hear the podcast.
Okay, I also want to put in my 2 cents about the coupons. I too find it hard to find coupons for items I would actually buy. Due to my son’s confirmed food allergies (tree nuts, peanuts, soy and dairy) I cook or bake almost everything we eat except for trips to restaurants. So we have no need for prepackaged foods/sauces/ect. We need fresh veggies, fruits, meats, eggs, grains, beans, and allergy-free specialty goods (like dairy-free choco chips).
I do find and frequently use coupons on the manufacture’s websites (Enjoy Life, Seventh Generation, Cascadian Farms). So I probably use about 5-$1 coupons for each shopping trip (once a week). Oh, and the Co-Op I shop at once a month also has coupons in the front of the store, which also help.
About couponing….I save soooo much money using the Grocery Game. It has really saved our family over the past year with myself, or my husband, or both of us at one point, being unemployed. I am really particular about what I feed my daughter and firmly believe it is important to feed my family “real” food. LOVE the meal makeover moms!
Opry Land Hotel sounds great and it’s kinda in the center…BUT the Gaylord Texan is the same thing and it is a little more central. I had to put in my plug for Texas!!!
I’ve never contacted you before although I’ve listened faithfully for a couple years now, but I had to write in about this podcast. Unlike Erin, my opinion of Kristin DID change upon hearing the interview with Dale McGowan, for the better. My respect for her has grown even bigger.
I consider myself a humanist, and although I feel no shame about that, I do tend to hide it. I don’t want my kids getting any flak, and I also work with kids, and don’t know how some parents might react if they knew my beliefs. So, I am very, very proud of Kristin for putting it out there. Perhaps if more of us did, comments like George Bush’s “No, I don’t know that atheists should be considered as citizens, nor should they be considered patriots.” would be less acceptable in our society. I also hope for the day when our society understands implicilty that professing atheism means as little as professing Christianity, or Islam, or Judaism in terms of what kind of person one is. There are good and bad people of all faiths and all types of non-faith. Some day, people like Erin won’t have to tell their non-believing friends that they don’t think less of them for their lack of faith. Some day, that will sound as bizarre as telling your friend you don’t look down on her for preferring Mexican food to Indian.
I had heard of this book before and now that I’ve heard the author speak, I’ll definitely be buying it. What a wonderful resource.
Thanks again, and keep up the great work! I love the great balance you’ve found between fun, silly content, and more thought-provoking and educational content.
Loved the podcast. I’ve ordered the book…sounds perfect for our family.
I considered going to Blissdom, and am really kicking myself for not going. Next year…next year I’ll be there.
I’m going to BlogHer this year…more for the chance to get back to NYC. LOL
Thanks for the show girls…as always, it’s spectacular!
I turned this episode off half way through. I asked my friends what they thought of the episode and we had the same reaction; everyone turned it off half way through. I feel compelled to leave a comment and I’m shocked that everyone was so supportive of this topic. I gave it my best to find some kind of “nugget” to apply to my life, but it just wasn’t going to happen. I was very sad that you allowed this topic a forum on your podcast. Would you feel it appropriate to have a pastor on to coach parents about raising their kids with religion? Of course not, that would just be too taboo. My heart ached listening to Kristin describe her religious dilemma. I am praying that you find the answers that you seek.
I’m sad to say that if this podcast is going to turn into a forum for anti-religious sentiment I won’t be listening anymore. No matter how funny and entertaining you ladies are, it isn’t worth it to me.
As producer of this show, I have to say I thought long and hard about this interview. I knew there would be some people who would find it hard to take. Maybe even offensive. As a practicing Catholic, religion plays an important role in my life. So I would hope that our listeners know that our show will never become a forum for anti-religious sentiment anymore than our show is going to become one exclusively focused on sex, shopping, ADHD, food, work, or any of the other topics we cover every week. It’s our mission to support moms—all moms—and we know that many families approach parenting differently. Please judge us not by one show, but by our track record of over 200 and trust that we keep all of our listeners in mind every week when we push that record button.
I can’t figure out how one podcast that acknowledges the fact that some parents are raising their children to be moral, ethical, happy people without religion is turning Manic Mommies into a forum for anti-religious sentiment. As Erin says, that would be like saying one podcast is turing it into a forum all about sex, or coupons.
Great podcast – I related to it 100%!
I just wish you both did not have to apologize so much for this topic – it was presented in a realistic and respectful way.
Keep up the good work!
Cindy
I certainly wasn’t offended, but then again I’m an agnostic who is married to a non-practicing Jew, so this podcast is perfect for someone like me. I didn’t see this episode as anti-religious at all, not one whit. All this podcast was about was that there is one person representing a group of people who don’t believe in God and how they are striving to raise their children to know right from wrong, be ethical, etc. without religion. *Nowhere* was it said that there should be no religion or that you should raise your kids without it. This podcast simply illuminated a problem some people have with faith: how do you raise your kids in a religion or other tradition properly when you yourself have doubts about it? Is it “right” to join/convert if you don’t truly feel called to said religion, or have doubts about it? I would think that an all-knowing God would know you’re just going through the motions just because it’s the “right” thing to do.
If you choose to raise your kids with religion, wonderful. If not, that’s fine, too. But as with any other topic, we are not all made from the same mold. If we all thought/felt the same way about everything, the world would be a very boring place, I think. You can’t truly experience one state of mind-faith or belief, for example-if you haven’t experienced the opposite state of mind: doubt and disbelief. Just because the opposite state of mind exists doesn’t mean that your state of mind is threatened. Those states of mind just are. Just my humble opinion…
I have to say that I went into this show with some trepidation. I am a long time listener- 4 years- and love, love, love you guys. I’m also a committed Christian. I wouldn’t call myself religious, because my faith means more to me than weekly attendance and adhering to list of rules. I’m a Christian not because I was raised that way- because in I wasn’t. I’m a Christian because I after studying the Bible, looking at other religions, studying history, and using common sense, I’ve devoted myself to learning from and living a life that reflects the teachings of Jesus Christ. I attended a Protestant church in MA and I’m active in the children’s ministry there. And I don’t judge anyone else for believing differently. To me a religious person is a person whose practice of religion is not solely for their or their families benefit, but to also arm themselves with ammunition to cast judgements on others. In Christian circles, there is a big emphasis on the relational aspect of Christianity over the religious aspect. So, please stop using the phrase “religious” it’s really offensive. It cheapens and belittles our choice to follow Jesus.
So, what bothers me most about the discussion is there was already an us/them dichotomy. Us- the secular humanists who are so enlightened. Them- the “religious” who are in church every Sunday. What I think aMomandLONGTimeListener was saying is that whenever you begin this conversation, there needs to be equal and respectful representation of both sides, from the outset, and as a Christian listener, I do not feel our perspective is presented in as positive a light as Mr. McGowan’s perspective. Maybe it’s because there is a sense that we already know about Christianity or a Christian’s parent’s perspective. When we are presented with statistics that say 92% of Americans believe in God, as producers of a show with many diverse listeners, it would be easy to assume that the 8% need representation. And to an extent, I agree. But don’t alienate us who take our faith in God very seriously. That’s how I felt, alienated. We need to hear from successful, well thought, and relevant authors who embrace our faith and allow it to influence their parenting. Dale’s insights were interesting and well thought out. But, your constant endorsement of him and secular humanism makes it very hard for this long time listener to relate to you. And your biggest strength is your ability to reach through my iphone and relate to me- I feel empowered and encouraged and known. Not so much around this issue of religion. I’m looking forward to the conversation with the Faith Club- maybe that conversation will bring from balance to the upset this show has caused.
How does *one* podcast mean “constant endorsement of him and secular humanism”?! Just because said episode didn’t include someone from the Christian faith to provide a counterpoint or rebuttal? Why do you feel alienated? Even though I am agnostic, I don’t object when someone invites me to attend services, or wishes me a Merry Christmas or Happy Easter. I don’t feel alienated while sitting at a Passover seder, either. If you are confident in your faith, why do you need someone to rebut the words of someone who doesn’t believe as you do? Is your faith shaken that easily?
If there’s no heaven, then I’m not wasting my time on coupons anymore.
It’s not that my faith needs to be validated or that there needs to be a rebuttal. My concern is if the Manic Mommies are going to begin exploring religion and parenting, then all faiths need to be represented. I don’t expect the Manic Mommies or their show to be a source of spiritual growth for me. I don’t expect prayers, or scripture sharing, or faith testimonies. That’s not the kind of show I have grown to love and look forward to. So when they decided to take on this issue in a brave step to help us explore that part of ourselves and our parenting, I expected the same level of thoughtfulness I’ve seen in the past. To begin a dialogue about this issue by airing this show, but not allowing an equally successful expert who has found success in teaching their structured faith system to voice their opinion on air does run the risk of alienating some listeners. Because Dale McGowen is very biased towards secular humanism and an existence without a supreme being. Where was the voice that said, you can raise free thinkers in a home with a structured faith system? For 30 minutes we heard how wonderful it is to not teach your children your faith system in hopes to give them freedom to choose their own. The conclusion was in order to raise children who are, “open to the world” you must provide a cornucopia of religious experiences even if you feel as if you are forsaking you convictions about faith. Right now my 7 year old son has friends who are from Muslim homes, who parents are lesbians, or atheists. And I encourage it. I know it’s important for my son to be exposed to every religion and lifestyle and learn to respect people for their choices. But, he attends a Friday night fun activity that encourages faith exploration, he goes to a Bible study game on Sunday mornings and we talk often about God and faith at home. We also talk about other religions and my son is studying Greek Mythology this summer. He’s open to the world and I think that also makes him more open to God and His love. Because he is learning to love people as we (my husband and I) understand Jesus loved.
OK, I get you. But I think that in order to accommodate all religions as you suggest, that would be impossible to do in one show. Even to have a second guest representing “raising your kids with religion” in general would cut down on the amount of time spent on each side, as it were, and thus would not do either side justice, in my opinion. This is obviously a very deep issue, and 30 min spent on one small aspect of this issue just scratches the surface, really. So perhaps this is one of a series? And even as a series, you’re still just scratching the surface of each religion or view.
I actually can appreciate the podcast. Although I consider myself a Christian and was saddened for the pain I perceived at some points during the podcast I enjoyed it. I think it was a new challenge and it’s always good to be enlightened on other’s belief systems. It also offered me some good alternatives and jumping points for talking to my children about difficult issues (death). I can choose to do with these ideas what I wish as can others. I am by no means afraid of what this podcast means for the Manic Mommies and applaud them for being brave enough to help us gain a broader understanding of the world and others who we share it with.
I’m a little late here, but that show was interesting. Hats of to Kristen & Erin for tackling that one. Why don’t you interview the “other side” and have John Rosemond on the show. http://www.rosemond.com/About-John.html. His “Parenting by the Book” is one of the best “Parenting” books available today, but the best still remains “The Holy Bible”, which has sold more copies than both John’s & Dale’s combined. I can’t imagine 1 second of my life with out my precious God!
Loved the show. Loved the honesty. Planning on getting the books. Keep up the great work.
I always enjoy Manic Mommies. It’s been a wonderful getaway from a job that can become repetitious. However, when I laugh out loud at my desk, people tend to stare.
At any rate, this show was a tough one for me. I am a devout believer. The honesty and candidness in the show was powerful. Thanks for sharing your personal faith issues, Kristin.
The difficult part for me is when it is indicated that you cannot raise a free thinking person if you are raising them in a particular faith. My daughters are young, but they are exposed to many beliefs. We make it clear why we believe what we believe, but most certainly hope to raise them with the independence and the confidence to find their faith in their own way. We are open-minded and non-judgmental…and we’re Christians.
I know the podcast will continue to be of the highest quality and a fabulous diversion from the daily grind. I just had to put my two cents out there about the possibility of being a person of faith and open-minded!
Thanks so much, gals!
I came here to share this podcast link with some friends who I knew would be interested in the subject. I am a theist who attends a UU church and is homeschooling my two children. Thank you so much for introducing me to this author. With everything, I take what I want and leave the rest. I am saddened by some of the comments here…. I wanted to come here and tell you that I support you.
LOVE ONE ANOTHER. Even if they are not like you. It’s what Jesus taught.
The author was expressing his personal beliefs, not preaching that every parent should subscribe to humanist doctrines. This show was informative and presented strategies from which persons of ANY faith could benefit when faced difficult parenting situations. Nothing about this interview was judgemental or disrespectful. I will even go so far as to suggest that those vehemently opposed to show topics with which they do not agree are the ones being judgemental and closed-minded. BTW, it is very condescending to be “sad” for someone who is quite content with their belief system simply because it doesn’t match your own…
First, your honesty was so refreshing. I have so many thoughts, I don’t know where to begin. I’m a Christian. I grew up in church, although my parents didn’t go with me. When I was 13 I went through a period where I struggled with the existence of God. Every day for months, I would think about God and try to figure out for myself what I believed. I didn’t share my struggle with anyone. Since my parents didn’t go to church, I was not influenced to believe something simply because they did. Your podcast made me so thankful that I had that time so young and truly got to figure things out for myself. Love the podcasts!