You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry.
Posted in Kristin on 03. Mar, 2010
Me, as She-Hulk by Ron Lim
I often say that I don’t know where our 4 year old daughter gets her temper. But the truth is I know exactly from whence her rage came – she is me. To quote Bruce Banner “don’t get me angry. You wouldn’t like it when I’m angry.”
I hope that most people I know don’t know about my temper. I try hard to keep it under wraps, preferring to cultivate the perception that I’m cool, calm or clueless. And while I tell people that I’m a mutt with Swedish, German, Scottish and Irish roots, the fact is I’ve got more than a little Irish fire running through my veins.
Sadly, the people who about my temper best are also the ones who are most victimized by my rare rages – my family. And most commonly, my dear husband.
I don’t blow up often, and I hate when I finally lose control. During a recent argument (the details are unnecessary, but at it’s low point we were arguing about whether “always” meant “always” or “most of the time”) I had a “fight or flight” reaction, simultaneously wanting to drive away AND throw my beer bottle at his head. I could hear the blood rushing in ears and felt nauseous. I’m also not proud to admit there were a fair number of obscenities sprayed in my husband’s direction.
Fighting with my husband is like swearing at a puppy. Or clubbing a baby seal with my beer bottle. He doesn’t like to argue, so he goes silent. Which just makes me angrier, while also making me feel like a raving shrew.
It’s a damn effective tactic.
Tonight, events conspired to get the ball rolling on another throw down. An argument which we were able to avoid, but is why my husband is hiding in his office and I have the remote and the comfy couch all to myself.
So I understand my daughter’s anger. And maybe some day I’ll tell her how to master it.
Ummm, sadly I TOTALLY understand. But my “4-yr-old” is now 13, and it’s doggone scary at times. Not an excuse, but I learned I have a hormone imbalance and now happily take one pill a day to make it easier on everyone around me.
ughh, unfortunately this scenario is all too familiar to me. I always feel terrible after I lose it and start yelling, but it’s really hard to stop once it starts. And my son has inherited this too. Double guilt.
It’s posts like these that make me feel normal…and validated!
I second Kimberly’s post above. I too have a “mini-me” and am learning and growing with her, trying to avoid the pitfalls of having her mommy’s temper, sensitivity and anxiety. She may someday join me on the happy pill train, but it will be with a mom who is armed with way more information and understanding than mine was.
The hardest part is that the anger isn’t usually directed at my husband at first, it’s just he happens to be in the way when I reach my breaking point. After being on the recieving end of one of my four year olds fits, I did get a new appreciation for my husband and how much he tolerate’s my irrationality!
Oh, I can so relate! I try to let everything go, until it all builds up and I EXPLODE. And my husband sounds a lot like Steve – he gets quieter and quieter when he gets upset, so I just go at him. I often wish he would just fight back! You are not alone.
I totally understand. I have an awful temper that gets unleashed upon my husband. Not too often though. Hubby is the same way. He goes silent, won’t fight, and walks away. Makes me furious. My 5-year-old son unfortunately inherited my temper. I almost have to laugh at myself when I talk to him about how to control it. Maybe I should try taking my own advice a bit better.
I have often said that the attributes I like least about my children are the ones they got from me.
I have never been a yeller until I had a family. Everyone else knows me as the shy and quiet one. Haha!
By the way, always means always.