Rancic on GMAWhen one of our favorite guests, Mel Robbins, tweeted that she was part of a segment on Good Morning America, I had to check it out.

The subject, it turned out, was Giuliana Rancic’s “controversial” statement that the secret to her happy marriage is putting her husband first.

I use quotes because, honestly, I can’t believe that this is really a controversial topic. But leave it to the media to make it a new front in the “mommy wars.”

The fact is, I don’t always put my husband first, but I completely agree with Giuliana (although I’m not sure I’d call Steve my first baby) and Mel when she says “if you want a one way ticket to divorce, just put your kids in front of your spouse.”

Or as my father once said to my brother and me when we were teenagers “I chose your mother first.”

There are days when the kids have to come first, or when one child’s needs have to be put in front of the other, but in the end it’s about me and Steve. We started this journey together, and if all goes as planned, these kids are going to move on, and we will be traveling as a duo again.

Check out Mel’s blog for more of her thoughts on marriage.


6 Responses to Marriage or Kids – Which comes first?

  1. Margot says:

    Coming out of the infant years I realized I was missing my husband. There was repair needed following 4 years of pregnancy, nursing, sleep deprivation and all the physical demands of having infants. We had to make us a priority. A kiss on the way out the door. A conversation after the kids have fallen asleep. Holding hands at dinner. Stopping and listening to each other. Without any tech between us. Having reconnected, I wish I’d known to monitor that connection more closely in the infant years.

  2. Patty says:

    This sure is hard to do, especially when you feel you are shouldering much of the child-rearing responsibilities and household duties. Resentment comes on so fast ! And, honestly, although my husband sometimes feels like my third child, the other two are way more fun ! Is that bad ? ;)

  3. Kim says:

    The first step in This book to raising happy and healthy children, is to pay more attention to your marriage than to your children. I agree!

  4. Jill says:

    At my first glance to the title of the story “Marriage or Kids-Which comes first?” I thought the article was about having kids before you get married. Thats seems to be the “Hollywood” trend these days. I’m relieved to see I was incorrect.
    My parents divorced after 32 years of marriage. They didn’t put their marriage first and were practically just roommates by the time my siblings and I were adults.

  5. Lori says:


    Ayelet Waldman, wife of Michael Chabon, got into all kinds of hot water and discussion when she brought this up in 2005!